“Slow down!” Maybe you heard this phrase from your anxious mother when you first started learning how to drive. Maybe you heard it from a doctor warning you that if you don’t slow down the pace of your work and download some stress that you’re going to kill yourself. But in a world that worships money, speed, entertainment, and instant gratification, people begin to feel uncomfortable when they slow down and stop. We continuously overstimulate our brains reprogramming them to always be scanning new bytes of information so that we’re “in the know.”
Unfortunately, our addiction to entertainment and technology is robbing our relationships of depth and substance. We frequently talk about what doesn’t matter, and we treat one another like we don’t matter. We’re so driven to distraction that we are missing the people right in front of us; our family, our friends, our neighbors, and our co-workers. Then we wonder why we’re feeling so lonely and disconnected. We feel like we’re going through the motions, and no one seems to have noticed that our hearts are disconnected.
As I’ve spent my life investing in developing the interior of people’s lives and relationships, I’ve discovered that people are frequently driven by greed or by an underlying stream of anxiety. People who are driven by greed are always trying to form connections to make more money. People who are driven by anxiety become increasingly uncomfortable when they slow down and feel their emotions, or when they are in new situations that they cannot control. When you don’t have a lot of money to offer money-driven people, they tend to ignore you. When you notice people’s anxiety, they frequently become more self-conscious and wish you would go away.
Instead of getting discouraged and frustrated with people who are driven by money or fear, I have discovered a new way of living counterculturally. I stop and notice people. Here’s how it works. Go to work or school with the goal of noticing, affirming, and appreciating the people around you. Stop and comment on their positive character qualities and skills that make your place and your life better. Spend one day with the intention to encourage people wherever you go and build them up. If you want to change a negative environment into a positive one, see the good and say the good. Watch what happens.
Here’s where I got the idea. Jesus Christ. He stopped to notice the children and women who were marginalized. He stopped to touch and heal the sick, the blind, and the lame. He stopped to ask questions and tell stories to help people to see what they were missing. He cut right to the heart of the problems and offered life-giving truth. Try it and watch what happens.
I also have thoroughly enjoyed this past several years reading Jon Gordon’s books like The Energy Bus, The Carpenter, and The Positive Dog. I’ve loved reading Andy Andrews’ book, The Noticer. I’ve been challenged and inspired by the writings of Mark Batterson and his mentor, Dick Foth.
I’ve been inspired by the way my father, Ron Sprunger, lives his life to benefit others. Most people know my father because he can sit down at a keyboard and play everyone’s favorite songs by ear. As he goes where people are, and he plays their favorite music, God touches their hearts, and worship happens. But the best gift my father offers people is his time. My dad taught me the best way to show love is T-I-M-E. He stops to notice people, strikes up a conversation with a stranger, and before long…they’re friends. He drops everything when I need him, and he makes time for me.
As you learn to slow down, stop, notice, and appreciate people, you will become an agent of change. You will become a countercultural catalyst giving this world and people the most precious gift of all: your time. Don’t be surprised when some people look at you suspiciously wondering what you want from them. Don’t be surprised if people brush you off and ignore you. Many people are in a hurry, and they don’t want to be bothered. Many people have been hurt, and they don’t trust love when it’s freely offered to them. But don’t get discouraged. Just become an agent of love. Love deeply from your heart. Not only will it change the culture of your relationships, some will be moved to tears because they haven’t been noticed in years.
As you reflect back on this past year, who are the people who noticed you and invested in your life? Who stopped and took an interest in you? What was the impact? In his book, Known, Dick Foth stated, “It’s amazing how much you can learn about someone’s history when the right kinds of questions are asked.”
Here’s my challenge: Slow down and stop. Become a person who notices and reflects more often and more deeply. Instead of trying to see how many “friends” you have through social media, invest deeply in the real people who are right around you in your home, neighborhood, school, workplace, and church. Just stop and ask a simple question to start up a conversation. Watch what happens. As I begin this new Spirit-Driven blog, I hope many of my Spirit-Driven friends around the world will share their stories so we can grow from one another. May this be a year where we team up to change the relational culture of our communities. Noticing and loving people one at a time. Let’s see what happens as we learn to love one another deeply from the heart.