One of the first warnings that I give to people in the disciple-making process is to be careful to count the cost and be prepared if you’re going to make a commitment to someone to grow with them into spiritual maturity. Some people may be with you for life. They may call in the middle of the night in crisis. They may show up at your front door needing something to eat, a place to stay, or someone to talk and pray with. They may have questions that you don’t know how to answer. They may challenge you and grow your chaos tolerance. They may repeatedly upend your schedule and disrupt your comfort zone. They may hurt you, disappear, burn the bridge, or spread lies about you. Hurting people hurt people, and sometimes disciple-makers bear the wounds of those that they disciple.
When you get involved in the toxic mess of people’s worlds, it doesn’t feel good. But the worst thing that you can do is to dump them because it doesn’t feel good. To keep going, you must pursue wholistic health and discover ways to encourage and challenge people to opt up to higher levels of functioning instead of your opting down to their level of functioning. Your personal and spiritual disciplines and boundaries must be intact and never negotiated away. Your relationship with Jesus must be close and life-changing before they ask you to help them follow Jesus.
I believe we are all made to be disciple makers. Jesus left His followers with a life-changing challenge: Go and make disciples of your people-group. Teach them everything that I’ve taught you, and I’ll journey with you throughout the process. Just as Jesus journeys with us through our stages of maturing spiritually, He invites us to engage our people-groups in a similar process. You cannot structure discipleship because each person’s journey and process are different. Many people want the benefits of being a Christian, but they don’t really sign up to follow Jesus and become like Him. If you want people to pursue Christ and follow Jesus more than they want to, you will probably be working a lot harder at it than they are, and you’re likely to become very frustrated. Make sure when you say “yes” to discipling someone that they are ready to give up everything and follow Jesus with you. Most people aren’t ready to count the cost or follow Jesus.
Before we get to the tough stuff, I want to share with you some great news. Disciple-making is the best way to spend your life! You can make disciples wherever you are. You don’t have to change who you are. You don’t have to put pressure on yourself or others. You can combine disciple-making with doing what you already love to do or doing what others love to do. You can do it at home, at work, or at play. You can teach and pass on God’s truth formally, informally, and by example. You can build life-long, trusting relationships where people become like family to you. You will grow as much from them as they grow from you.
This past week, I engaged in disciple-making while playing in the sand, drawing, building, painting, playing sports, corn hole, Jenga, checkers, playacting, reading stories, facilitating small groups, sharing Scripture, praying with people, visiting people where they live or where they work, counseling, calling people, listening, challenging people, laughing, crying, and offering help.
Here’s the best part of disciple-making: People come alive in Christ, experience Jesus’ transforming love and healing, and invest in helping others follow Christ. Here’s the tough part: People engage in the ways of the world and disrupt disciple-making. Praying with people who can’t see, hear, or feel God. Praying for healing and loved ones get worse. Praying for miracles for God to remove pain, and the pain continues. People moving from excitement about God and devouring His Word to getting more excited and consumed with something else. People finally getting up the courage to go to church, and they get hurt by the church. There aren’t words to describe how exciting and frustrating it is to journey with people.
We shouldn’t be surprised when people become lukewarm because we do. We shouldn’t get upset when people relapse because we do. We shouldn’t get upset when they’re full of questions that we can’t answer and when they’re emotionally all-over-the-place because they’re just like us. But it’s not about us! It’s all about helping other people who are on a journey with Christ. We must let them set the pace. We get to help them navigate. We get to show them grace and acceptance while modeling love and truth. We get to be Jesus’ representatives by being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. We get to put on our spiritual clothing and make room for all of the stuff that they share with us, and we get to patiently care when they’re not ready to share stories and parts of their lives. We must respect their boundaries while enforcing our own boundaries.
When you add food and coffee and games and serving and invite your friends into a dynamic process of learning to follow Christ together, your life and your relationships will never be dull. The Lord orchestrates and engineers the process. We get the privilege of being containers that the Holy Spirit empowers. We get to build friendships and change the world together for Christ. The people you fully invest in will become the world-changers who invest fully in the people around them.
If you’re looking for some help and direction following Jesus or engaging people in the process of discipleship, I would love to come alongside you and encourage you and share some props and tools to make it easier for you. Just contact me at glenn@spiritdriven.org. Thanks for journeying with me.