I started my day today reading these words from Psalm 63, “O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you…Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself.” Sounds incredible, but where is David? He’s in the wilderness. He’s being pursued by those who want to take him out. Where does he hide? In the shadow of God’s protective wings? Where do you go when the voices and presence of your enemies are relentless? Listen to David’s words. “I follow close behind you; your strong right hand holds me securely.” That’s why David could sing for joy to God in the midst of his desperate circumstances. He was closely following his loving, kind, and protective God who brought continuous help and security.
Can I say “yes” to God if I can’t see Him, feel Him, or hear Him? Can I see God if I’ve kept Him at a distance? Can I feel God if I’ve shut off my emotions? Can I hear God if I’m not close enough to hear and to listen to His voice? Can I just say “yes” to God in faith right even If I can’t see Him or feel Him? No matter how badly we might feel or how awful our circumstances may be, God is with us, and God is for us. He may not be answering our prayers now according to our will; instead, God is offering His loving, abiding presence as He carries us through the tough times.
I have the songs of David echoing in my mind and heart as I desperately cry out to God in prayer. I can never be lost to Your Spirit. I can never get away from your love (Psalm 139). I’m not sure why it’s so hard for us, but we sure have a hard time surrendering to God’s love. We seem to fight against God’s endless love instead of letting it permeate our heart, our mind, our root system, and our security system. Even though we’re made in the image of our loving God, we still struggle with intimacy.
We wonder why God seems silent and why God seems distant when we’re desperate for Him to show up and to respond to our prayers. But if we’re going to be totally honest and transparent, how close do we let anyone get? Life has trained us to say, “I’ve got this.” “I’m good.” “I can handle this on my own.”
Through a long history of disappointment and sorrow and frustration, we learn to trust ourselves and no one else. We say “no” when we’re being offered a “yes.” Even when we’re invited to draw near, we’re oftentimes too busy, too distracted, or too preoccupied with lesser things.
In order to say “Yes, Lord, I’m available” to walk and talk and listen and closely follow You, I have to say “no” to everyone and to everything else that’s competing for my time and for my attention. As I’m writing these words, I hear the words “Jesus emptied Himself.” In order to do the will of the Father, Jesus had to get to the place of denying Himself, taking up His cross, and following God through His death and resurrection.
Jesus learned obedience through that which He suffered. I think the same can be true of us. Our response to trauma and brokenness positions us to receive or to reject what only Jesus gives. I think we oftentimes want something else instead of Jesus. We want relief. We want comfort. We want to feel good. We want blessings. We want our will to be done here on earth. We want control. But we will only find peace and contentment and security when our entire being is surrendered to the love and lordship of Jesus Christ. Peter said it well. “Where else could I go to find words of life?” (John 6:68)
I invite you to join me in this prayer. All to Jesus, I surrender; all to You I freely give. I will ever love and trust You; in Your arms I daily live. I’m sorry for all of the ways that I’ve gotten in the way and have said “no” to You. Please forgive me for my selfish pride. I’m saying “yes” today. Yes, Lord, I’m available. I’m available to be loved. I’m available to listen and to closely follow You with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I want to love better, but I realize that I must become more open to being fully known and fully loved by You if I’m going to freely love myself and those around me. Thanks for being so patient and forgiving. Thanks for never changing, even when I’m all over the place. Anchor and secure me in Your love, and restore my joy as I live in Your strength. In Jesus’ powerful name I pray, Amen.
If you’ve closed yourself off to the love of God and to the love of His people and if you’ve been stubbornly trying to do life on your own, here’s a crazy word of encouragement. Take that independent, pigheaded old self and trade it in for a new heart with new and right desires. Desire to be known and loved. Desire to know and to love God and others. Watch what happens. Watch what God does.
