Masking Fear of Death

It’s okay to laugh at me because I get even more crazy and playful when stress soars.  But when you see people wearing masks, don’t laugh or make fun of them.  Wearing masks is a serious thing.  Being afraid of people or sickness or death isn’t funny at all! 

When I was a young boy, some of my favorite heroes were masked men.  The Lone Ranger.  Batman.  Spiderman.  As I became older, I wore a lot of different masks because I was afraid and insecure.  I masked my anxiety and anger by smiling, joking around, and getting people to laugh at me.  I made friends with the bullies so they wouldn’t beat me up, but I was scared to death of them.  I spent so much energy trying to perform and be liked by people that I was miserable inside.  I was insecure, and I hated what was going on in and around me. 

When I look back, my biggest fears were disappointing God, disappointing my parents, losing the people I loved, failing, and people discovering what a mess I was inside.  Making myself feel good through sports, porn, performing, or people-pleasing were all dead ends.  Although I contemplated all of the ways that I could end my life, I had an overwhelming fear of death and the judgment of God.  My sin and comforters just brought more guilt, shame, and self-hatred.  I masked it all from people, but I couldn’t hide from myself or from God.

When I was a mess, I encountered the living God.  Jesus pursued me in love.  He saved me by His grace.  He rescued me from my sin, shame, and addictions.  Forty-five years ago, I said “yes” to Jesus—the Lamb of God who washed my sins away with His blood that was shed on the cross for all of our sins.  I spent the next thirty years trying everything under the sun to make me feel good.  Nothing really worked.  Although it sounds crazy, I fought the love of God.  I didn’t really surrender to God and His love until I was forty-one years old.  What a radically different existence I’ve experienced since I took the plunge into the sea of God’s love. 

When I discovered that nothing could ever separate me from the love of God in Christ, I didn’t need to wear masks or be scared to death or fear death.  Listen to these words written by a Spirit-inspired man who got wrecked and transformed by God’s love and grace.  “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love.  Death can’t, and life can’t.  The angels can’t, and the demons can’t.  Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away…nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38,39)

When Jesus took our sins upon Himself, overcame death through His resurrection, and offered us eternal life, He offered the only permanent solution for all mask-wearers who fear death and dying.  As the old hymn sings, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.  Because He lives, all fear is gone.  Because I know He holds the future.  And life is worth the living just because He lives.”

Even if you have a mustard-sized faith, you have enough faith to reach out today for God’s help.  He will be your ever-present help in times of fear, doubt, isolation, loneliness, and despair.  If you’ve gotten out of the practice of praying, going to church, or reading the Bible, God has given you some at home time to nurture your faith and your relationship with God and your family.  Instead of feeding fear, feed and exercise your faith, and watch what happens.  Actually, you won’t know the benefits of developing a love-based relationship with God until you stop fighting His love.  Building a case against God, yourself, people, or the government are all life-suckers.

Why not start an honest conversation with God today?  How about reaching out in love to those around you who are scared?  Let’s find ways to pass on life and hope to people who are isolated or scared to death.  You don’t have to mask any of your feelings, but you can find creative ways to share them.