If you wondered if I’d be “out of action” forever…I’m back. I may only be at 48%, but who said you have to feel good to live and make a difference with your life. I have a Spirit-driven friend who baked me an incredible strawberry pie, and she felt less than 20% this week. I felt incredibly better enjoying every bite of her strawberry pie. I had friends who thought I wrote “out of action” just for them. Then God taught me another powerful lesson: God works through our seasons of weakness as well as through our seasons of strength. His power is made perfect through our weakness.
Why do we try to hide our weakness? People already know where we’re weak. Why do so many people become mute when you ask them to tell you about their strengths? God gives us both strengths and weaknesses. Are we afraid to be known? Are we afraid to be loved? Are we afraid we won’t be known, cared for, or loved if we boldly share our true selves? Are we comfortable enough with who we are to allow others to get to know us? Or do we believe we have to change or improve to engage in a process of knowing one another?
I wonder if the deeper question is, “Do I trust?” “Who can I trust?” “How much can I trust you?” “Are you trustworthy?” “Am I trustworthy?” “Are you going to hurt me like _________ did?” “Are you going to judge me, make fun of me, or leave me?” “Have I healed from my hurt?”
Developing restorative community requires trust building. It requires engaging the whole self in relationship with God, self, and people. It requires spending a lot of time listening to one another share stories and not being in a hurry. It requires an openness to being known and loved deeply from the heart. It requires the development of safe people and safe places.
The people around me ask such honest and difficult questions that I must continuously examine my life to deal with obstacles that can interrupt the trust building process. I’ve also been known for asking challenging questions. I know that I can’t help people if I’m not willing to engage in a life-long process of allowing people to help me. People don’t want to be fixed. They want to heard, known, and understood. This requires openness and listening from the heart with a desire to know and be known.
Why are we so afraid of rejection and getting hurt in relationships? Is it because we’ve been relationally injured? I wonder what Jesus thinks when we live in such a distant, independent, superficial, and shallow social culture? We attack who and what is different from us. We compete to win and beat one another in business, in sports, in church, and in relationships. We settle for instant messages, texts, tweets, and snaps. Yet we’re dying in loneliness thinking that Facebook will somehow connect us. Really?
When was the last time you just slowed down and shared your heart with someone? When was the last time you cleared your schedule and made time to listen and linger with someone who needed a friend? When do you allow God to use the chapters of your life that weren’t pretty so someone else can find common ground with you and feel accepted? Jesus bore our weakness and carried our sorrow. He was chastised and crushed so that we can have peace. He was covered with blood, so we can be spotless in the eyes of God. He entered our suffering, was brutally abused in every way, so we can be known and loved in fullness without shrinking back. He bore all our sin and shame, so we no longer need to live in fear, hiding, isolation, or loneliness.
Today I offer you my heartfelt reflections. My questions. My strengths and my weaknesses. My chapters that God is redeeming. My faith and my fear. I cannot offer you what I don’t possess. I only offer my life that’s been broken, healed, and extended to those who also desire to be known and loved deeply from the heart.
You have so much to offer.
Will you engage in a process of becoming known and loved?
Will you throw off the things that bind and hinder you from becoming relationally connected?
Will you surrender to love?