I’m teaming up with my all-time favorite artist, Matt Potosky, to draw you into a conversation that could suck the life right out of you. It could also have the opposite impact and contribute to your much-needed change. What do you perpetually engage in that consumes or depletes you? Go ahead, take some time to reflect and find the source of what’s zapping you of your life and your vitality. What patterns have you adopted over time that wear you out? If you listen to your body, to your heart, or to those who love you, what are they trying to tell you.
Many people feel stuck in cycles that kill their heart. When we lack healthy mental boundaries, we can become enslaved to negative or critical thinking. We can regurgitate negative or traumatic memories and perpetually re-traumatize ourselves. When we lack emotional boundaries, our fear, anxiety, anger, bitterness, resentment, guilt, shame, or sadness may take over our existence. When we hang onto negative words or reactions from others, we can give them life-zapping power or control over us. When we lack social awareness, we can dominate conversations without realizing we’ve contributed to other people shutting down. When we don’t use our voice and set relational boundaries, we can let our boss, our coworkers, our spouse, our parents, our children, our friends, or our enemies suck the life right out of us. If we don’t set boundaries with technology or entertainment, our screens can rewire our brains and destroy our ability to pay attention, listen, respect, and engage in life-giving relationships. If we don’t set limits on our giving to others, people can suck the life right out of us.
We may feel stuck or feel like the good in us is being sucked out. But sometimes we have a hard time owning our role in the process. We’re quick to blame others, our circumstances, or explain away our ability to change. Sometimes we don’t even know why we chronically feel exhausted—even when we’re doing twice as much as those around us are doing.
When I was a teenager living in Minnesota, I went on an excursion with two of my friends to Lake Superior. We thought it would be fun to stop alongside the road and go fishing. Being an otter, and occasionally ADHD, I was the first to get my fishing line stuck on a rock. Without thinking, I jumped into the shockingly frigid water and swam to rescue my fishing line. As I was still shivering on the way home, I remember feeling this weird sensation between my toes. Finally, I got annoyed and took my soggy socks and shoes off only to discover a leech was sucking my blood. Yuck! Disgusting! Get him off me! I immediately detached that sucker, who didn’t want to let go, and I threw him out the window.
Some of our life suckers are easier to recognize and get rid of. Some try to hang on for life! Becoming good stewards of this life that God has given us requires us to let go of all the things that bind and hinder us as we run this race with perseverance keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus. Sometimes this requires letting go of our jobs. Sometimes we must let go of people. Sometimes we must stop doing what we are consumed with or distracted by. Sometimes we have to let go of allowing ourselves to focus on what’s wrong with ourselves or what’s wrong with others. Sometimes we have to let go of things that happened in our past. Sometimes we have to let go of “what ifs” or fears of all the bad things that could happen if we go all-in with following Jesus.
Whatever our life suckers may be, the Lord will relentlessly pursue us until we let do of our false gods, idols, and attachments that consume us. Jesus offers us new and abundant life each day. We must deeply abide in the Vine and His Word, so that we grow life-giving fruit to share with others.
Do you feel God’s Spirit nudging you to let go of something that’s sucking the life out of you?
How will you respond?
Sometimes God has placed someone nearby who can help us make changes or set boundaries we haven’t been able to do on our own. It’s okay to ask for help.