4 (Motivation)

My journey before writing this blog started with prayer, a season of reflection in Galatians, and journaling.  In my journal I drew three circles.  In the first circle I wrote “My Way.”  In the second circle I wrote “Your Way.”  In the third circle I wrote “God’s Way.”  If you’re counting, that makes three circles.  Why is today’s blog called 4?  You’ll soon find out if you keep reading, but today’s blog might feel like caving.    

One of my most memorable experiences in college in Missouri was the night six friends went caving together.  At midnight, we snuck out of our dorms and hopped into the back of my friend’s enclosed pickup truck.  We drove out into the countryside wearing old, grubby clothes.  I had no idea where we were going or what to expect.  When we arrived, we saw only a small opening that we had to crawl through on our bellies to get inside.  But once we got inside, WOW!   It was pitch black.  With only flashlights in our hands, we discovered a whole underground world of rock formations that we climbed on and incredible God-formed designs of stalactites and stalagmites.  Crazy memories.

When YOU go caving into your core, searching 4 your motivation, what do you find?  What are you driven by? Love?  Habits?  Addictions?  Passion?  Fear and anxiety?  Insecurity?  Anger?  Unresolved hurt or wounds from the past?  Success?  Pleasure?  Approval of people?  Helping people?  Feeling comfortable and avoiding discomfort?  Feeling in control?  Christ?  Whose expectations and influences set your mind and set your agenda?  Who and what are you all about and living 4?

In the first circle (My Way), people from hard places or privileged places can get stuck in patterns of self-absorption.  When people give you what you want but fail to give you what you need, wants and needs along with truths and lies can be easily exchanged.  When your focus is getting your own way, then everyone around you exists to give you what you want and to make sure that you don’t have to do what’s outside your comfort or pleasure zone.  You lead your day and your way to get what you want when you want it.  Those who are nearby become your enabling team to grow your entitlement.  When people around you don’t give you what you want, you pout, act out, shut down, become passive-aggressive, become hurtful, or find someone else who will give you your own way.  If that sounds like you or someone around you, today’s blog might become a springboard for some heart-to-heart conversations about change.

In the second circle (Your Way), people from hard or privileged places can get stuck in caretaking patterns.  You exist to serve people and to help those around you get what they want and need.  Oftentimes, people-pleasers and performance-addicts fall into this camp.  Those who live for the second circle can be driven by a stream of anxiety and end up ignoring their needs while enabling those around them.  Fear of anger, disappointing people, and feeling rejected can lead to compassion-fatigue and burnout and dysfunctional relationship patterns that can fuel addictions, neglect, and abuse.  If you live from the second circle, you’re probably worn out from working and serving all of the time, and you might be resentful of those around you who are having more fun in life than you are.  You might even be stuck in enabling patterns and not know how to get out of them.  It might be time to toughen up, grow a spine or thicker skin, and learn to set some boundaries and pursue some healthy self-care. 

In the third circle, people from all sorts of backgrounds discover God’s Way.  Living for God is entering into a daily unknown adventure.  You might know the Truth, but you have no idea how God is going to use today to help accomplish His purpose and plan.  For people who seek God’s Way, you fill up on God’s Word, and your prayer life runs your life and your ministry.  You live more reflectively, more attentively, and more responsively as the Holy Spirit leads and guides you.  Since you’ve died to self and to trying to please yourself and pleasing others, your focus is on yielding to God and pleasing Him first and foremost as you’re making decisions that impact you and those around you. 

For most of you, I’m going to guess that you move back and forth between these three circles throughout your days.  But for many people who are sick and tired of bouncing back and forth and never feel like they can get this right, a 4^th dark circle can begin to appear around your eyes.  Satan loves to attack you when you feel worn out and vulnerable.  He’ll tempt you with lies that make you feel inadequate, frustrated, apathetic, and will tempt you to just shut down and quit.  He’ll begin surrounding you with people and messages and temptations that can lead to you shutting your heart off and not caring about pleasing God, self, or others.  Satan might say, “Nothing you do really makes any difference anyway.”  “Why try?”  “You’ll only make things worse.”  “Besides, you’ve been striving way- too-hard for way-too-long and look what good it’s brought you.  Nothing!” 

If you’ve slipped into detachment and self-protective mode where you don’t care about pleasing anyone, you’re right where Satan wants you to be.  If you’re ready to self-destruct and give up, it’s time to reach out for help.  Asking a caring friend, family member, mentor, teacher, pastor, or counselor to help might be your last instinct, but it may be the best for right now.  Life is too short to be checked out and not fully alive.  If you can’t see any light at the end of a dark tunnel, God has already surrounded you with people who care.  He’ll give you courage and strength to ask for help.  You’ve come too far to give up.  Many of my favorite people that I’ve met over the years have met me at their worst times as we’ve journeyed together to freedom. 

“4 me to live is Christ and 2 die is 4 gain” (Philippians 1:21).  “4 I’ve been crucified with Christ.  It’s no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in and through me” (Galatians 2:20).  4 me to love my neighbor is 2 love Christ.  4 you 2 try to do this life without God and the love and support of caring people is setting yourself up 4 failure.  “4 apart from Jesus, we can do nothing” (John 15:5).  The good news is that with the strength and support of Jesus, we can do what is most needed regardless of how it feels and who it pleases.  It is my love 4 Christ and 4 you that I write these weekly blogs.  I pray that God uses them as you strive 2 become more like Jesus 4 God’s glory.