People are shaped by exposure. If you briefly consider the content of your recent stories, they are likely made up of whatever you’ve exposed yourself to in the recent past. People you’ve encountered. Places you’ve gone. Movies you’ve watched. Books you’ve read. Social media. Work challenges. Problems. Investments. Illnesses. Grief. Celebrations.
Over time, we tend to become creatures of habit and restrict our exposure. We find our comfort in doing the same things with the same people over and over again. In the process, we become a community with limited exposure. And if we’re not careful, we restrict our social network to people with the same beliefs, practices, and lifestyles. Then we wonder why we have such strong reactions to different people, beliefs, musical expressions, sounds, smells, foods, and emotional expressions. And we wonder why more people don’t want to join us.
If you’ve followed my blog, I’m exposing people to different ways of thinking, seeing people, living, and relating to God, self, and others. People who know me well tell me, “Glenn, you live outside-the-box.” Actually, we all live in a box of restricted exposure. We limit what feed on, so we limit what we grow in our lives. In order to outgrow our old habits, we have to kick out the sides of our exposure box and try new things.
I have the privilege of working with people of all ages. Life is my school, and people are my teachers. The community is my congregation and my mission field. The subjects I learn come from the stories of people’s lives. While God continues to shape my beliefs through His Divine Word, hurting people help me become more trauma informed and understanding. In fact, I no longer view people by their problems, addictions, diagnoses, or signature sins. People don’t like to labeled, judged, or viewed by what’s wrong with them. Instead, I like to search for common ground. I search for and discover the good in people and celebrate what’s different or special about them. I go out of my way to engage with people who are different from me. That’s how I grow.
When I was a young lad, I blitzed my system with stress and with milk, and I became lactose intolerant.I gradually began exposing myself to dairy products, and I retrained my body to handle dairy products with no repercussions. Most treatments for allergies involve exposing ourselves to small dosages of what we’re allergic to, and over time, our bodies get used to it. Although I somewhat regret sharing this next story, I must.
I spent my life telling everyone, “I hate cats.” I’d tell everyone I was allergic to cats. I remember my two rounds of getting hives from cats, and I’ve always kept my distance. Then my son brought home a cat who liked me way too much. Being the softie that I am, I started opening the garage door and letting him start spending time in my house. Now the cat has taken over all my favorite chairs, and yesterday I found him lying on my bed. My gradual exposure to the cat has retrained my body to not have severe allergic reactions.
People and life are like cats. Sometimes they bite you or scratch you. Sometimes they love you and want to be close to you. Sometimes they like to be left alone. Other times you can’t give them enough attention. The more you allow yourself to become exposed to different people and experiences, the more you will grow to know, understand, appreciate, and love them. Instead of having allergic reactions, you can train yourself to love what’s different from you. You can enjoy people who are totally opposite of you. In the process, you will grow and make room for people you used to judge by their appearance. When you get on their turf and hear their stories, you will gain an appreciation for how resilient people are, and how God has been at work throughout their lives. Iron will sharpen iron, and your life will be enriched.
Who do you go out of your way to connect with?
Who do you stay away from because you’ve built a case against them?
Are you building more walls or bridges?