Back in 1985, my friend, Bob Fox, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, showed me how to become a clock maker. We went into his wood shop where I made a special wooden owl clock with a pendulum. This clock was made for a purpose. My bride-to-be was flying from Minnesota to Pittsburgh, and that swinging pendulum is where I placed her special engagement ring. I’ve never been more nervous and excited in all of my life. Engaging with special people that we love and making relational commitments changes us. I tell everyone that I’d be lost without my wife. Most people already know it!
As people are becoming increasingly disengaged, relationally distant, detached, and shut-down, we must seize the day and become intentional about connecting and engaging with people around us. My personal way to relationally connect is through playful engagement. I’ll notice people and highlight a positive quality that most people are too busy or too stressed to notice, and I’ll verbally affirm them. Nowadays, most people aren’t used to getting personal or positive attention, and they don’t always know how to respond. But when they discover that I’m being sincere, they begin to study me. Sometimes they dismiss me. Sometimes they respond in sarcasm. Sometimes they playfully banter with me. Sometimes they start watching and studying me to see if I’m for real. Unfortunately, people can go days without being cared for or even noticed.
We’re not very good at noticing and engaging with people if we’re full of ourselves or full of something else. We can’t engage with others if we’re emotionally guarded, distracted, or in a hurry. But as the Holy Spirit engages us in a process of surrender and transformation, Jesus allows His image to shine in and through us. In Ephesians 2:7, we find this intriguing description of Jesus, “He emptied Himself.” Jesus became the Servant-of-all. He set aside being God and allowed Himself to be obedient unto death on a cross. Jesus set aside heaven, comfort, and all that He was entitled to as the Son of God, in order to lovingly sacrifice His life so we could be forgiven, reconciled, and free.
How do forgiven, reconciled, and free people engage with God, with people, and with the world? I’ve seen about every imaginable relational engagement style. When Christ sets people free and since we know that Jesus’ heart is to seek and to save the lost, life becomes all about discovering, learning, and discerning ways to engage with God’s people. We can’t make disciples of our people groups if we are too busy to stop and notice and engage with people. If people are God’s prize possession, then I’m certainly not going to go out of my way to ignore or to avoid them. My eyes try to catch people who drive by me, walk by me, work with me, or seem too busy for me. My friend, Yvette Givand, used to call this “whole body listening.” I want every part of me tuned into and studying people, looking for ways to listen, connect, and engage with them. Why? Because if people don’t know that they’re God’s image-bearers, then I want to treat them like sons or daughters of the King. They may not know what to do with me because they don’t yet know what to do with Jesus. And if they don’t know Jesus yet, then they’re now beginning to engage with someone who represents Jesus.
As I look for playful ways to engage with people, I’m searching for common ground. I’m looking for ways to engage in building a friendship. I want people to know the love of Christ, so I must be full of Christ’s love. In order to be filled each day with God’s love, I must empty myself of everything else. I must engage each day in spiritual disciplines where God is convicting, correcting, refining, and igniting me through the Holy Spirit. Every day I must throw off everything that I and others can trip over on Engagement Road. If this big kid is not engaged in a loving, deep, and transforming relationship with God, then I will fall flat on my face trying to engage with God’s other kids who long to be known and loved. If I let my mind or my body become consumed with lies, garbage, or negative emotions, I’ll only infect people with what’s wrong with me. Who wants to engage with sickness?
I’ll close today’s blog with encouragement. Pursue God, pursue health, and pursue people. Engage in processes that become life-giving. If you don’t know how, ask. God has surrounded you with people who can help you to learn to engage in meaningful ways with God, yourself, and people. God surrounded me with people who have blessed and changed my life. When people who love God and who love people get together and create spiritual community for God’s glory, it can sound and look amazing! How I thank God and my Spirit-Driven community for sharing and giving in ways that make a difference. This music video is dedicated to you.