Look at Your Kids (Part 2)

Several weeks ago, I challenged you to take a closer look at yourself through the lens of your kids because who you really are is being reproduced and reflected in the lives of your children.  Today, I want to encourage you to seize your homefield advantage and invest deeply into the lives of your children.  Although you may be tempted to resent the recent changes contributing to you and your family being home more, what if you decide to intentionally get to know each of your family members better and to strengthen your relationships?

In an age filled with screens, why not set aside time each day to do face time?  Not with your I-phone–  with your kids.  It might initially feel awkward, but go ahead and look each other in the eyes.  Keep looking.  See what you notice.  Begin to give your kids permission to look into your eyes and tell you what they each see.

When I’ve done this with kids who have trauma-filled lives, I’ve asked them to look closely into my eyes to see if they can tell what kind of person I am.  Their honest feedback opens a window into my own soul.  Kids hold nothing back when they trust you.  But what they seemed to appreciate and need even more is having someone to carefully look into their eyes and give them loving and affirming feedback of who they are and what they’re becoming.

Go ahead and begin to look deeply into the eyes of each of your kids.  If you look carefully, you’ll begin to see a glimpse of Jesus because each of your children are made in the image of God.  If this causes a little discomfort, please don’t reflex into sarcasm, making fun of them, saying something insincere to get attention or a laugh.  Your kids need to know that you deeply love them and see in them the handiwork of God.  Ask God to give you words of love and affirmation to speak directly into their hearts, especially if they’re feeling anxious or insecure.  If they’re not convinced of your genuine and sincere love for them for who they are, your kids may spend the rest of their lives trying to find love in all of the wrong places.  When they hear from you how much God loves them and how much you love them, their search and longing for love and security can be satisfied.

If your image of God or yourself has gotten distorted from the hurts and hang-ups of your family and your life, you may have some difficulty with today’s face time challenge.  Let me encourage you to have some face time with God your Creator.  When you imagine looking into the face of God, He’ll begin to smile with delight because you’re His kid.  He’s crazy about you.  He fashioned you to become like Him and to reflect Him to those around you.  He’s working out His unique plan for your life and for His glory.  Don’t shy away from the Father’s love because He wants you to feel His warm embrace.  He wants to fill up your love tank to overflow into the lives of your kids and your loved ones.  Listen for His words of love and grace and affirmation.  Then you’ll begin to hear the words that your kids desperately need to hear from you.  Take it in and pass it on.

If you don’t have any kids yet, you’ve not been able to have kids, or if you’ve lost kids who were dear to you, I want to remind you that the Father’s love for you is endless.  He knows and feels your pain, and He wants to bring His comfort and healing where you need it most.  It won’t feel the same, but allowing yourself to love other children and allowing yourself to feel loved by them is one of God’s ways to bring His comfort and healing where it’s desperately needed. 

Anyone who knows me well knows that I’m a big kid.  I’ve been loving kids of all ages throughout my life.  My parents taught me how to love, and it’s my favorite thing to do.  I want to encourage you to see your life, your words, your body, and your actions as instruments of God’s love to invest in your family.  Hold nothing back.  Don’t overwhelm or embarrass them.  Find sincere ways to delight in each one each day.  In the process, you might get some amazing hugs like I do from my family and from my friends.