When you fall in love, you’ll do anything to spend more time with the one that you love. Whatever they love, you will drop everything to make it happen. When you’re in love, all of your time, energy, and resources get channeled into the one that you love.
Think back to a time when your love for God caused you to do some radical things that made absolutely no sense to the people around you. What comes to your mind? Has your crazy-love for God caused your “work” to become a mission field where you work heartily as if you were working directly for God (Colossians 3:23)? Are you building loving relationships with God and people at work that compel you to get out of bed and go and make a difference for Christ?
As I started my fall tour of the Book of Revelation, I got stuck in the second chapter. Jesus’ message to the church of Ephesus is still ringing in my ears. “I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance…You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to me again and work as you did at first.” (Revelation 2:2-5)
The Holy Spirit cuts right to the heart when I read Scripture. Over time, I’ve learned to stop, think, reflect, listen, and yield to the message behind the message. I believe that I love Jesus, my wife, my children, and the people around me more than I used to love them when I was younger. But I also have the words of one of my favorite Steve Green songs, “I Repent”, ringing in my ears. “I regret the hours I have wasted and the pleasures I have tasted that you were never in. I confess that though Your love is in me, it doesn’t always win me when competing with my sin. And I repent, making no excuses. I repent; no one else to blame. And I return to fall in love with Jesus. I bow down on my knees and I repent.”
When our primary love relationships are no longer primary, work can become an escape for intimacy. Work is a place where we can get rewarded for overworking. Working for God can become a duty or something that we mark off of our checklist. Work can become a source of pride or contempt when our priorities are out-of-place. When we stop feeding our primary relationships with God, our spouse, and children, work can become a “have to” instead of a “get to.” I’ll bet you can tell—and they can tell—when your attitude towards work has gone south.
For example, I got the hedge trimmers out yesterday because my wife asked me to do my annual battle with the back shrubs. I noticed that it took half of the time to complete the task because my oldest two sons played Terminator on my shrubs the past two years, and now the shrubs are much more manageable. Instead of being thankful for this opportunity to work and serve the Lord and my spouse, I just wanted to git-r-done. I saw pride swelling up for how quickly that I conquered the shrubs, and now I notice that I’m telling you about it.
What does shrub-whacking have to do with love? On day one of Revelation 2, I’m feeling pretty good about how well I love God and my wife. On day two of Revelation 2, I’m feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit. His message to me: “Quit counting and telling people how much and how long.” I thought that I put my pride to death years ago. Now I’m getting busted in the chops again for my pride. On day three of Revelation 3, I’m telling you what I’m not supposed to tell you: what I did for my wife out of my love for her.
As I keep listening to the Holy Spirit, I believe that my love for God and for my wife should continue to compel me to do what I don’t even like to do. And I should tell no one because I’m doing it out of my love for God and for my wife. When I feel compelled to tell people what I did, how much I did, and how long I’ve done it, it’s just all pride. Once again, pride must die another timely death. The only reason that pride can still be alive is because it’s feeding on my insecurity. When God’s love really has won me, and my love for my wife is holy and devoted, then I’ll no longer have a need to tell anyone about my loving acts of service.
Some people hate to slow down and stop working. Work can become the foundation for our identity. Work can also become a substitute for pursuing intimacy. Work can be a way to avoid slowing down because of what surfaces when we stop moving and working. Work can also be a healthy expression of our love for God, our family, and those that we serve through our work.
I’m thankful for the ways that God slows me down. I’m thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit. I’m thankful for the ways that Jesus pursues me in love until He’s changed and filled me from the inside out. I’m thankful for my wife and my family who love me in spite of all of the times and ways that I’m attention-seeking and out-of-line. I’m thankful for the community of people that God has surrounded me with who affirm, encourage, teach, correct, rebuke, and sharpen me. I’m thankful that God never stops speaking through His Word when I slow down and listen with a desire to know and to love Him more.
How are you feeding your love relationship with God?
Are your spouse and your children feeling loved by you?
What must you let go of in order to love God and your family with your all?