Thirty-four years ago, I took the plunge. Before God, my family, my church, and my friends, I said “yes” and committed my entire life to be married to Sue. When we were dating, we used to go dutch bowling. I would bowl the first ball, and if I missed some pins, Sue would try to pick up the spare. We put our names together to make a team. Glenn and Sue became “Glue”, and we’ve stuck together like glue for the past forty years.
Marriage was God’s idea and His plan. A man and a woman leaving father and mother to unite and to become one. A beautiful picture of God’s design for His relationship with His bride, the church. Through good times and bad times together, we remain connected and united. We grow stronger and deeper bonds of love the longer we’re together and the more adversity we face together. We become better together.
I want to honor my God, my wife, my parents, and my friends as I write this morning. I also want to encourage and challenge you. I titled this blog “Married 2” for a good reason. Marriage only works when we are deeply committed to 2 our marriage. “Married 3” or “Married 4” doesn’t work. If I’m as equally committed to my family and friends as I am committed to my wife, my marriage doesn’t work. If I’m married to my work, my marriage doesn’t work. If I’m married to my passions, my marriage doesn’t work. Why? Because if my wife doesn’t know and feel that she comes first, then she isn’t first. She feels valued and important when she wins and I say “no” to those who are competing for my time and for my attention.
My parents taught me never to use the “D-word” (divorce). They taught me to honor my commitments. They taught me to match my words and my behavior . They taught me that LOVE = TIME. My parents have spent the last sixty years demonstrating what they have taught me. I thank God for giving me godly parents who taught me how to love and how to demonstrate God’s love through committed marriage.
During my exile years when God was cleaning out and cleaning up my life, God set me up BIG TIME! He knew exactly which woman I needed to help me grow into His likeness. Opposites attract, and everything I’m bad at…Sue is good at. I’ve grown up and become so much more because of Sue’s influence on me over time. How I thank God for giving me a godly wife! Most of you know how true it is that I’d be lost without Sue, and I’d probably starve to death.
In a culture where people have become married to anything or anyone, I want to share some countercultural gems that have contributed to winning in my marriage.
Vibrant marriages develop when both spouses are surrendered to the Lord and have a growing, intimate relationship with the Lord.
When I live in my wife’s preferences, she cares more about my preferences. When I care about what she cares about, she knows that I care about her.
I can’t expect my wife to not be a mess if I leave my messes all over the place. I must pursue holistic health, if I expect my wife to be healthy. I must deal with my junk instead of trashing her with it.
Listening is loving.
Set and enforce boundaries that protect your marriage. With your parents. With your children. With your work. With your church. With your technology. With people of the opposite sex. With your eyes. With your heart. With your time. With your talents. With your treasures.
Since we mess up so frequently, be quick to apologize. Be quick to forgive. Love keeps no record of wrongs. It delights in the good. Be careful that you don’t get organized around what’s wrong. Daily look for the good in your spouse, and be quick to celebrate it and tell others. They’ll feel loved and honored.
Marriage is ministry. Pray together. Be the church together. Invest deeply in your kids and in other people’s kids. Open your home to people who need a loving family and incorporate them into your family. Grow as a disciple of Jesus and develop growing disciples around you. Give thanks together to God each day because He’s blessed you with so much. Ask for His help and healing and restoration because you’ll need it. Marriage without God doesn’t work! Honor God and your spouse every day.