Anger..envy…love…?
On Tuesday I wore my www.stressedout.com sweatshirt. In a subtle way, I was informing the world that I needed some rest and relaxation. God showed up that day on three different occasions, when I needed a reprieve from all my stress, and He gave me dark chocolate from my Spirit-Driven friends. “O taste and see that the LORD is good” took on a whole new meaning for me.
Over time, I’ve developed a plethora of stress management self-care tools, and people who know me well know my “go-to’s.” I begin my days in spiritual formation in front of my What is Jesus Doing transformational prayer altar. I wear only comfortable clothing. I add pretzels and power naps whenever necessary. I turn everything into a game. I get paid to play, and I play my way into the hearts of people. And the more stressed I feel, the crazier and more playful I become. I dive bomb my friends without notice. And I create what’s missing and what’s needed using all the props I find and carry around in a black bag I bring wherever I go.
But in order for people to feel safe to share their stories and hearts with me, when I ask them questions that cut to the heart, I must always do two things. R & R. I must restrict myself and restrain myself so that my verbal and my nonverbal communication is 100% honest and 100% respectful. It’s never okay for me to step over people’s boundaries and be dishonest or disrespectful. Although that is my goal and my standard, being a playful otter and ADHD makes this very challenging.
While I’m in the moment, I sometimes get so crazy and fun-loving, that I step over boundaries and drive people nuts. When this happens at work, our office staff tell me, “Glenn, go to your room.” When I start becoming a crankmeister at home, my family says, “Go take a power nap.” One day, I was having so much fun at Frazer Automotive with my friends Mark, David, and Ron, that I jumped into a car that needed a new engine, and I pretended to be the engine. But when you create a culture where people are celebrated, known, and loved, you never know what will happen next.
As I go from schools to homes, I fill one of my black bags with stress management devices that help kids have fun while they’re talking about the crazy stressors in their lives. Before they know it, I’m tossing all sorts of stress balls and objects at them, and they’re telling me all about the stressful junk they were hit with at home or at school. It’s been a great way for kids to get out their stress, and it helps me understand how they feel and what they’re going through.
But this morning, I got a new “One-4-the-day” idea. What if we each got two stress-relieving devices, and we etched an “R” in each one. Then we put one in each hand whenever we need to have crucial or difficult conversations with the people around us. We can squeeze them while reminding ourselves to R & R. Then we can move into our conversations prayerfully, speaking only the truth in love, while restricting and restraining our communication so that we ensure that we are being honest and tactful.
You might feel kind of crazy doing this, but the people around you may start relaxing and trusting you more because you’re not blasting them with your anger, your sarcasm, or your hurtful, not-so-entertaining “humor.” Instead of building a case against people, maybe you would actually be building them up or building a bridge that both of you can walk over to a better place.